I have actually be meaning to post updates more frequently, all to often I am feeling fatigued and just about able to manage daily function, I am told this is to be expected but it is something I struggle dealing with, I just want to feel normal and get back to living, no longer be defined by something that is hopefully no longer in my head. My next scan is in May, I am now kinda oblivious to it, although I did feel a little emotional about a letter from the surgical team to my GP about what was happening and what was going to happen in the future. For the next fifteen years I am going to be receiving MRI scans on a regular basis to keep an eye on the little fucker, the surgeon believes a trace remains of the tumour in the central sinus canal, if it begins to grow I will receive Gamma Knife therapy and or Chemo therapy, if the mass begins to invade the brain tissue again or become more aggressive they are going to open me up again and remove the tumour. Strangely I am very at peace with everything now.
This week, apart from feeling a little cold and flu like I am doing pretty well, Wednesday is still my midweek rest day, I woke up yesterday and I actually felt good (snotty nose aside) big lungfuls of air, sun pouring in through the window, were it not for my cold I was going to try another bike ride, over the past month I have managed to put in an increasing amount of hours in work which although tiring has helped me feel better about myself, I am almost at the point where I can contribute to the household once again, it sounds a small thing but it is very important to me. I have often defined myself by how "useful" I am, what I can do and offer really, not being able to fix bicycles has had more of an impact on my confidence than I had hoped, I will be able too in the future but not being able to do something fought so hard to be able to do, well it kinda sucks.
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